Adjusting...serioulsy?

I am sure many of us have heard someone say "God has such a sense of humour!" As you chit chat over a latte at Starbucks or in the church foyer. It could be about how you accidentally bumped into someone that you haven't seen in years, who you had 'just been thinking about' and BAM there they were!  God is so fun like that eh?  Or the couple who are about to finish their adoption process to receive a child and BAM they get prego!  LOL! Don't worry...I am not pregnant...not sure how funny I would find that :). You know what I am talking about.  But then there are times, at least I find, that it's more of a 'hardy har...sooo funny' (insert thick sarcasm) or even an 'are you kidding me' (insert troubling gaze to the sky...)

Well, in case you are wondering where I am going with all of this-first go back and read my last blog post.  You know the one about "adjusting with Grace" then come back and start reading this post.  Ok, you done?  Let me start by quoting myself from that last blog...

"I am glad that I am starting the year with a long run that will make me practice what I preach that will lead me to His grace."

Little did I realize that it would be more than just a long run that would test me to practice what I preach!  Of course the passing of David has been a huge adjustment, but I can say that God has given us all grace and comfort to move forward. One of the reasons I was looking forward to being back in Liberia was to be with our SP team during this time of grieving.  Well, God's timetable was a little bit different than mine.  The first major adjustment was the amount of flight delays and cancellations due to weather that kept many of our staff arriving as planned.  At the time when we all just wanted to be together and see each other-we had to wait.  For some it was just a few days for Joni it was a whole week!  Yeah, I would give myself a 5/10 on gracefully dealing with all the delays. But finally, we were all together-now time to plan for our big run!

The reason for flight delays...

Or maybe not...my running mate Alisa, came down with a terrible stomach bug-I mean this bug was having a party in her tummy!  She was down and out for two days-the week that we were supposed to attempt our 70km/44mile run from Voinjama to Foya.  The decision was easy, postpone the run until healthy.  This was probably the easiest adjustment-there was no way we were going to do this run with one of us not at 100%!  Still, we had to adjust-picking a new date that was not easy, we are both pretty busy people :) We also adjusted our training plan to add a few more weeks no prob bob.  New date: Feb 9th...pending any adjustments...  I would give myself a good 7/10 for this one.

Voijama to Foya road...we are still coming for you!

The last major adjustment (there are little ones everyday but I am used to those :) is the recent resignation of one of our program managers that works closely with me.  Rachel has been our CDF PM for the past two years and has done an incredible job-I am so thankful God brought her to us!  She has been offered a great job and we are proud to send her with our blessings.  But, we have to adjust again-to find someone to fill those big shoes and also adjust to not seeing a great co-worker everyday.  I would give myself a 9/10 on this one, mostly because we always encourage our staff that if they have an opportunity to further their career we want them to take it.  Also, I know Rachel has left the CDF program in great shape.

And then there is Kendell...with the London marathon 80 some days away-he has been suffering with plantar fasciitis.  So we have had to adjust his training program a bit.  It has been frustrating for him and trust me nothing is more frustrating to a runner than a nagging injury!  However, he is taking care of it and after taking a week off he is back running small small.  I think the adjustment has been harder for him than me-as I have been injured before and know that you can come back and still get the job done.  For that, I give myself a perfect 10/10 :)

Good point...

All of these big adjustments were in the first week of being back.  Isn't funny how God works that way? (again insert sarcasm).  The words I wrote in my previous blog seem to be 'slapping' me in the face and I will admit at times I forgot about that big bowl of grace. I have been drawn to a very simple verse- John 14:1.  Jesus is comforting His disciples, He has just told them about how He will be betrayed and denied by them and instead of getting mad at them or giving up on them He states:

"Do not let your hearts be troubled.  TRUST in God, TRUST also in me." (John 14:1 NIV)

BAM! Simple truth, from the mouth of our Savior.  Trust that bowl of Grace, trust the One who fills that bowl everyday for you and I.  My heart was troubled, I won't lie, but this simple verse read over and over has once again has my heart soaked in His grace.  I either have to believe on this or stop writing blogs on practicing what I preach.  Isn't God funny that way? ;)

Adjusting with Grace...

As we enter into 2014 and look back on 2013, many of us have had to or will have to make some expected and unexpected adjustments. I had to adjust from running in +30C weather to -17C on snow covered trails (with the odd deer passing by!). Some of these adjustments were successful, some a little more painful-but if there is one thing that I have learned this past year-it is how to adjust with grace.  

My new running trail...sharing it with deer!

I have not always been willing to adjust with grace-no, at times I resist not wanting to adjust, "Why must I always be the one who has to adjust?", I whine.  In our projects we have to adjust to bad roads, unpredictable breakdowns, staff sickness and beneficiaries not always cooperating.  I am very proud of our staff for adjusting when we had to-many times exemplifying grace that only God can provide.  

Adjusting to running in the cold and snow...

However, the hardest adjustments came in the form of loss. In early Spring we lost one of our CDF's (Community Development Facilitators), suddenly to sickness.  James was a great worker, engaged with the community and had a true heart for his work and for Christ.  A couple months later, we as a family lost one of our security guards.  Our house has four security guards that have been with us since 2005 when we arrived.  David got really sick and passed after fighting a month of sickness.  He too was a strong man of faith-it was heartbreaking to tell my boys that their 'uncle' had died.  The final adjustment that I am still hard to adjust to-is the sudden loss of our finance officer David MacDonald-a fellow Canadian who died of a heart attack over Christmas holidays. Again, as a parent, the hardest thing to see is your kids try to deal with such devastating loss.

These blows to our heart are the hardest to adjust-never mind with grace.  I was reminded over the holidays (by my amazing sister-in law) that God gives grace to handle every day. I visualized it as a huge bowl brimming to the very top full of grace. Available for us to draw on at anytime. He knows exactly how much we need for that day-and it never runs out, the bowl is never empty. And if we use some of it-the next day it's full again. He soaks us with his grace when our tears flow, when we are angry and ask difficult questions and when we wonder how we can keep going on.

You see, it's easy to adjust to the good things, like a new plane this year that has made travel a lot easier for all of us, new families and staff that have joined our team and how God has faithfully supplied us with resources to keep doing what He wants us to do!  Oh yeah, grace is flowing easy when things are going smoothly, when everyone is healthy and when the roads are clear.  I am sure all of us look back at 2013 and remember the sudden adjustments that were great and those that were painful.  But God's grace is there, everyday, that big bowl full to the brim just waiting for us to dip our cups in.

2014 is starting with an adjustment without David our finance officer, our friend.  It is not going to be easy-but I know I need to adjust with grace, or it will be a long year!  Plus, I know David wouldn't want it any other way :)  We have three SP staff members training for the London Marathon-for Kendell and Joni it will be their first-trust me they will have to adjust!  And I know there will be plenty of unexpected adjustments that are just waiting to jump out of their boxes in the next 12 months.

Many people make resolutions, to adjust their lives for the better, to change.  But I want to challenge you that when those life altering adjustments come this year, dip into the bowl and let His grace adjust you.  In a few weeks I will run the farthest I ever have-and throughout that 70km/44miles there will be plenty of adjustments that I am going to have to make. I am glad that I am starting the year with a long run that will make me practice what I preach that will lead me to His grace.

Running Tired...

I am tired.  All of our programs work on a January-December cycle so we are nearing the end of another year of hard work.  It seems this time of year I need more sleep and find myself yawning more than normal! When I was up country last week I could see it in our staff too-everyone is moving a bit slower, many of our staff are getting sick and everyone is trying hard to push through this last month.  When I came back home I could see it in the staff here in Monrovia too-even my boys are tired and looking forward to a break from school!  This is the time of the year where the rubber meets the road-can you push through and finish strong through the exhaustion?

How I feel...

 What I need to remind myself...

 

Yes, there is still a month left of trainings, programming, reporting and assessments.  There is still work to get done-and I can't give in and start shutting down.  Sometimes to keep moving forward we need to take a look back and see what has been done-how far we have come, to know that the finish is getting closer!  

 Looking in the review mirror to see how far you have come-helps us push to the finish.

It's like when you are running and you are so tired-the end is in sight but all you want to do is literally crumple on the road and sleep on the ground.  But, when you think about your training, how far you have come and how you will regret quitting when you are so close to the finish-you can't help but to keep running-no matter how tired your legs are.  

 

The last couple of trips to projects I have had the opportunity to see many of the amazing things that God has allowed us to do this year-the lives that have been changed and the hard work our staff have put in.  Here are some highlights (photo's by Joni Byker and Theresa Blankers):

Well technician Ju and community members with their new well

Community Development Facilitators (CDFs) Andrew and Henrietta in Ngalhun 1 where they live teaching Bible and health lessons.

Literacy classes-teaching women to read, write and do math.

Amara from our sheep and goat program distributing animals to community members.

Cpt. Roy filling up the chopper with Christmas Shoe boxes-taking them out to the jungle to...

kids like this little girl! :)

It's time for the final 'kick' in our race to the finish. It's time to see how much work has been done, to see God's faithfulness throughout the year-and now kick it up a notch to finish strong.  In Hebrews 12:1 the end of verse says "...let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." It's a great reminder to keep on the road that God has us on-persevere not matter how tired we are!

Right now I am in the middle of training for an ultra-marathon.  No, it's not a sanctioned race-but something that I have wanted to do for a while.  Run farther than a marathon.  So in January, co-worker, friend and fellow runner, Alisa and I are going to run from Voinjama to Foya.  Anyone that is familiar with this stretch of road knows that not only is it 43.75 miles/70km-but it is very, very hilly!  One of the biggest differences between training for a marathon and an ultra is the back to back LONG runs.  For example-last weekend while in Foya, our training schedule called for a Saturday run of 3 hours followed by a Sunday run of 3:40min. It's long, slow running so I don't get caught up in how fast I am going it's about time on my feet and finishing.  In those 2 days of running I covered 33 miles and burnt over 3300 calories in 6:40 minutes of walking for 3 minutes running for 12-whew!  Our longest back to back runs are a 4 hour run followed by a 5 hour run at the end of the month.  The idea is to get your body adjusted to running when you are tired, when your legs feel like jelly and you mentally have to find a whole other level of motivation.  After a long Saturday run, I soak in a cold bath, eat and drink as much as I can, nap and try not to think about running again the next day!  But you know what?  My body is adjusting-the training is working and just like work, even though I think and feel like I am tired I actually can keep pushing and finish stronger than I thought.

Mile and hour who knows what on my long Sunday run...

I may be tired going down hill to the finish-but there is always someone else with a bigger load heading up hill that is just as tired!

I am so thankful for all the amazing things God has done through our projects.  It has not been easy, but He promises never to leave us-He is with us until the very end.  It is up to me to keep moving forward, find another gear, start my final 'kick' and not give up when the finish line is so close.

 

Thanksgiving and cabbages...

Many of you may remember some past blog posts about our CMP (Church Mobilization Program) program.  It is one of the programs that I have raised money for through running the London Marathon.  Well, some exciting things have been taking place this year in our CMP program in the South East county of River Gee.

The CMP program in River Gee is focused on educating the local churches' response to those living with HIV/AIDS.  HIV/AIDS is a real issue in Liberia-however, one that is hard to measure.  The reason being that once sick, many people will not get tested in fear that if they are positive -the stigma that may follow would be too much to live with.  In a county where rural health education is limited, many see HIV/AIDS and other diseases as a curse from a witch and not as a disease that can be transmitted.  When patients do get tested the health officials have to take confidentiality procedures to ensure that the name of the patient remains anonymous.

Many victims are left on their own-to go to a local health clinic for their treatment, to find food and to draw their water.  Weakened by sickness leaves them living in extreme poverty with no one to care for them.  But, our CMP program is hopefully changing that.  Through our training, church/community members are educated on what HIV/AIDS is and how people can become infected.  It is amazing to hear the beliefs that some people have on how HIV/AIDS is transmitted!!!  And it is amazing how these beliefs can be erased through education and discussion.

The training is just one aspect-through the training our facilitators work with the church to pick a 'seed project' that will meet the physical needs of these vulnerable people group. In River Gee the church has started cabbage gardens.  The cabbage seeds are planted in a little nursery...

Little seeds are planted in a nursery bed...

When they get this big and all crammed together the get thinned out.

 CMP facilitator Marcus (on the right) and a local pastor/CMP participant thinning out the little cabbage plants.

 

"Ahhh we can breath and grow!"  All the little cabbage seedlings with room to grow.

When the cabbages get a certain size and start to out-grow the nursery they are transplanted to a plot of land that the community has given to the church to use.  The CMP participants are responsible to clear the area and make sure that the cabbages are planted carefully, weeded and cared for.

Growing cabbages!

So what does cabbages have to do with people living with HIV/AIDS?  Well, the church harvests the cabbages and takes them to the local hospital/clinic where they can be given to not only people HIV/AIDS patients (that would be too obvious who had the disease) but others who are sick and can't farm or work for their food.

I love this program for many reasons, but one main reason is seeing the church physically and spiritually respond to those in need.  If you look in Acts 2:42 onward, we are given an account of the early church-I really love this passage- it's such a beautiful picture of what the church is supposed to be-look at these key verses:

42:All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing meals, and to prayer...

44:And the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. 

45: They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need.

46: They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord's supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity.

47: All the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of people.  And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.

When I visit our CMP projects in River Gee this passage of scripture is fresh in my mind.  Even though the local church has very little compared to our churches at home-they are coming together to care for a group of people that would be left to suffer on their own.  There is a long way to go for sure-but much like the cabbages that start off as a little seed-the seed can grow to something that can be used.

As us Canadians head into Thanksgiving weekend-I would challenge you to maybe 'thin out' your pantry and take some of that extra food to the local food bank or the Salvation Army so they can give to those are in need.  Much like the judgement the victims of  HIV/AIDS face here-let's not judge who we are giving it too or why they need it. But give in the same attitude found in verse 47:"all the while praising God" and look what happened!  48:"And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being SAVED!"

Happy Thanksgiving everyone-enjoy your time with family and friends!

Deep Thoughts while Running...

One question that many distance runners get asked is, "When you run for that long what do you think about?  Don't you get bored?"  Oh my word -Bored?!  I NEVER get bored-my mind is usually off somewhere thinking about something.  So, I thought I would share some random thoughts I have had during my runs lately.  I say random, and yet, these thoughts have helped me clear my cluttered head, put a smile on my face when I am tired and pushed me to expect more of myself and my running.  

Love this...

Thought #1--"I can't believe how many of our SP peeps are running-it's great! They really kicked butt in the marathon and 10k last month.  Cool to see people set a goal and reach it-I love seeing that.  I wonder how the experience has changed them...maybe it didn't?  I should ask...I wonder who will run a marathon next?  We have 4 SP women that have run marathon...that's impressive!  Women are good runners"....(thought fades out to women and running...)

Thought #2 --"I love my new shoes.  New running stuff is the best.  I like how shiny they are.  I can't imagine having them and not using them...I need to be careful not to get so caught up in the cool running gear-and yet, be a crap runner.  Sigh...I may have a cool new Garmin (gift from hubby and buddy :)) and new shoes and even a new running shirt (that keeps me cool-temperature cool) but unless I use it to help me be a better runner and stay healthy it's just a waste of money.  Hmmm...kinda like when people have a new well or new latrines but don't use them.  Unless we use things for their purpose-it's just piece of equipment sitting gathering dust and roaches...Or when people have Bibles but don't read them and take it seriously! Whoah, Bev settle down...how did the love of my new shoes get me so worked up over behavior change and judging...sheesh!" (shaking head...)

My new running toys: shoes bought on sale and the watch a gift :)

Thought #3--- "What am I making for dinner...ugh. (A constant thought for most moms!) Man, I am hungry.  I need to eat less sugar. I love chocolate.  I should cut out all sugar in my diet.  Wait...that's crazy talk.  I will allow myself sugar in my coffee and chocolate.  Wait-that is the only sugar I really consume.  Never mind...I am running that should counter the sugar I eat. Great justification Bev...nice try."

 So true...

There are 3 nuggets for you.  Yes, the last one is just a shallow thought while I plod along-and some are random thoughts that go a bit deeper.  And then there are the thoughts that cause me to take a deep breath of joy- seeing others run, seeing the people I work and live with-who I love - set a goal and reach it.  Through the endless miles of training-through injuries and tiredness, they push through a finish something they never thought possible.  Running has great health benefits.  But in our busy life having uninterrupted time to clear your head and think or just let your mind wander while running can be one of the best unknown mental perks of running. Running boring?  NEVER!

Running...a team sport

Running is usually an individual sport.  You don't need anyone else, really, to run.  You are responsible to put one foot in front of the other mile after mile. However, to be a good runner, and for sure a great runner-you need a team.  A team to support you with words of encouragement of motivation and sometimes a cold water bottle and a package of sticky GU...

With the Liberia marathon/10k coming up in a few weeks and others doing running plans-SP staff have been out in force running laps around ELWA and lots of miles on the road out to the airport.  Alisa and Elizabeth are running the Liberian marathon along with one of our Liberian staff -Josiah (along with other friends/family of SP Steve and Matt and maybe Jamie? :)).  Kendell and Joni are sticking to a half marathon running plan-and Kendell will be running the 10k (Joni is will be at Danielle's wedding as will I!).  It's been great to see everyone running together-and if they don't run together-encouraging each other along as they run.  

As for me-well, I am running but not as far as everyone else!  There's a change eh?  I am running with the boys-and trying to get them into a habit of running but still making it fun.  But for now - my role is crew chief for those on their long 18 or 20 mile runs or 10 miles.  Today was a big day for the marathon runners as they had their 20 mile run.  Kendell and Joni had their longest run they have ever done. Ninety minutes straight-roughly between 9-10 miles.  

We all talked throughout the week about the 'plan' for Saturday morning.  The miles were clocked and posted along the road-and even though we were up late last night-at 5:30am with the cooler packed full of juice, electrolyte drink, fruit, GU's and water- I got up to drive out Alisa and Elizabeth out to their starting point. I headed back home to ELWA to pick up Joni and Kendell and drop them off at the furthest point so that the runners would run towards each other making a little bit easier for me! :)  Here are a few action shots of the morning...

 Cooler ready to rock and roll..

 

 Getting read for the first water stop for Kendell and Joni

 Water, GU and bathroom break...

God created us as relational beings-so it would make sense that we would naturally take an individual sport like running and want to share and experience it with others. Everyone of the runners commented on how much it easier it is to run with 'someone' -Joni even said if she ran alone she would probably just stop!  

 Elizabeth aka 'Boston' looking strong-oh!

 Alisa-hair and feet fly'n! Just after this point Boston and Alisa passed Kendell and Joni going the other way.

My notes...what time I dropped off each team member and what time I needed to get back to them with water, sports drink and GU.

Joni and Kendell are done!

 We all met at the Total gas station near the airport where Josiah, Alisa and Elizabeth finished!

 The serious shot...

 5 hours after getting up-we were all heading back home-stinky and tired!  (except for me of course!)

 In the end 120 miles ran by 7 people-10 water bottles and around 7 Vanilla GU's.

Driving back in the truck the smell of sweat and hard work wafted throughout and sunk into the seats. It was great.  No matter what the mileage, why it was being run-or that everyone ran their own pace and own time-we all finished together as a team.  God blessed us with great cloudy but cool weather-and overall no serious injuries. Super proud of ALL the SP runners - they work hard, run hard and now they will rest hard!

The Battles in the War...

I know, it's been a while since I have updated the ol' blog.  If I was honest-it's not because I haven't wanted to write what has been happening over here-most of the time it is because I have no idea how to write what I have seen or experienced. Life has lots of little battles that we are engaged in everyday-recently, it has felt like I have been losing a lot of them! Much like running, every training run is a battle, some days you want to just quit or you feel that you will never finish the 'war' or marathon.  You get bogged down by injuries, work, heat and humidity or just plain tiredness!  But as I have learned recently, you just keep at it-always keeping in mind the war has been won..

It is easy here to get caught up in the battles that we loose- preventable needless death, oppression, gender issues, corruption, sickness..those are the bigger battles.  The smaller ones slowly build up-inconsistent power, internet issues, idiots in traffic and the list goes on.  I hate what it does to me-get's me down, angry, physically and emotionally exhausted-if you are not careful to recognize that you are riding on the 'struggle bus' you soon will be bumped off at burnout station...

God knows.  He knows all the battles before we even try to fight them-He has known forever and that's why He gave these words to Paul to write in 2 Corinthians 4:7-9 NLT.

"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure.  This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed.  We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but NEVER abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.  

 I am a fragile clay jar.  It's hard for me to admit sometimes (ok, most times) but I am, and I let myself get crushed and how easily I forget that God, the sovereign Creator not only knows every single battle but He is the one where my power comes from! When I do win the odd one I know it's not because of my strength but the strength of the One who lives in me. 

 Little people that make the battles seem small...

We have won plenty of battles, Children protected and taken out of harmful living situations, springs built, children latrines constructed, women and men learning to read and write, an airstrip dedicated, -those are some of the bigger battles we have won.  

 Flying into Foya on the new airstrip!

 On the ground getting ready for the VP to cut the ribbon

It is a war out there my people and if we are not careful we can let ourselves be defeated by the battles that we loose instead of seeing that in the end with Jesus we have and will win the overall war.  The Spirit inspired words of Paul again tell us later on in 2 Corinthians 4:18 (NLT)

" So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.  For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever"

Those are not just words in in old book my people-this is God's promise.  Yes, you win some and loose some-but if we keep at it, get back up dust ourselves off, keep moving forward in the strength of Christ and 'fix our gaze' on that finish line we will see things with a new perspective.  The war has been fought and won-and I am grateful to be on the winning side of that war.